Am I OK? A True Answer for R U OK? Day
For years my answer to “R U OK?” was no. I numbed, I spiralled, and I couldn’t picture life getting better. One honest sentence — “I’m not OK” — led to 30 days in hospital and a slow rebuild built on therapy, movement, and showing up. Today my answer is yes. If yours isn’t, borrow my belief and start with one conversation. I’ll listen.
How to Rebuild Friendship: Small Habits That Stick
I tried to optimise my way out of loneliness; it didn’t work. What has: being kinder to my brain and treating friendship like a practice. This field note blends neuroscience (micro-delights, cognitive appraisal), queer midlife reality, and six repeatable habits that make showing up easier — and connection stick.
The Real-Life Reset
The less time I spend online, the more my life feels like mine — better sleep, warmer friendships, finished projects. Research shows why: screens promise connection but often fuel loneliness. This piece swaps performance for presence, with five “micro-freedoms” to trade screen time for real time (device sabbath, outdoors by default, one ongoing group, embrace friction, host tiny). The algorithm can wait. Your people — including you — can’t.
Dry(ish) Is the New Deep: How Drinking Less (or Not at All) Gave Me My Life Back
I used to outsource confidence to a drink. Quitting didn’t turn me saintly — it made me steadier. With more people rethinking alcohol (and data backing the shift), this is the sober-ish playbook that rebuilt my energy, friendships, and self-respect: morning anchors, clean-fun rituals, social plans that don’t revolve around booze, and a kinder way to “start again.” No preaching — just practical steps for a life that feels like yours again.
Future-Proofing Your Heart and Mind: The Queer Case for Loving Your Body, Your Brain, and Your Relationships
The habits that keep love steady are the same ones that protect your brain and heart: move often, eat well, stay connected, argue to understand, ask for help. For queer lives with shifting safety nets, this isn’t self-improvement—it’s maintenance for the long haul.
Still Showing Up: Impostor Syndrome, New Chapters, and Building Something That Matters
Building Get Out while navigating a new job, a new city, and old patterns of self-doubt has brought up one uncomfortable truth: impostor syndrome doesn’t disappear just because the mission matters. In this reflection, we explore what it means to keep showing up — even when you’re not sure you’re enough — and why that’s exactly the point.
Too Good to Scroll: On Time, Loneliness, and the Lives We Don’t Post
Feeling like time is slipping away? You’re not alone. In this reflection on loneliness, presence, and digital burnout, we explore how rediscovering purpose — not productivity — can stretch time again and help us live more deeply in the moments that matter most.
The Sleep That Saved My Sanity
For years, I thought I was just tired. In reality, I was unravelling. This is the story of how sleep — real, restorative, fight-for-it sleep — helped kick-start my sobriety, regulate my emotions, and bring me back to a version of myself I actually liked.
Single, Secure, and a Little Bit Scared
You’ve built a life you genuinely love — quiet, content, full of meaning. But what happens when the thought of letting someone in feels more like a threat than a thrill? In this honest reflection, we explore the quiet joys (and quiet fears) of thriving alone, and why real connection doesn’t have to cost your peace.
Younger Than You Feel, Older Than You Look: Why Time Feels So Weird Right Now
Is it just me, or does everyone feel both 25 and 75 at the same time these days? Drawing on the concept of "subjective age," this piece explores how queer time, personal trauma, and post-pandemic reality warp our internal clocks — and how we can find meaning in the mess.
Working Out, Showing Up: Why Doing Hard Things Together Makes Life Better
In Working Out, Showing Up, we reflect on the quiet, life-saving power of doing hard things together — from sweating it out in group fitness classes to giving back through community volunteering. Drawing on the Effort Paradox and the timeless idea that doing good feels good, this piece explores how shared effort transforms loneliness into belonging, and how showing up for others helps us show up for ourselves.
The Strength of Not Taking It Personally
In this reflection, we explore what it really means to stop taking the bait in a world wired for outrage — especially for LGBTQIA+ people who’ve learned to brace for judgment. From workplace digs to family jabs, this piece blends lessons on self-control with the quiet power of choosing where your energy goes — and where it doesn’t.
You Don’t Have to Be Alone to Feel Lonely — Loneliness Awareness Week 2025
Loneliness is often misunderstood as a problem faced only by people who are alone. But new research shows many of us feel disconnected even in relationships, families, or crowded social lives. This article, written to mark Global Loneliness Awareness Week (9–15 June), explores the rising health concerns around loneliness, its hidden presence in modern relationships, and how Get Out was founded to offer not just company — but purpose, connection, and joy.
In Trust We Begin: How Trust Transforms Loneliness Into Connection
Loneliness is often framed as a lack of company—but what if it’s actually a lack of trust? In this deeply personal and evidence-backed piece, we explore how broken trust shapes queer disconnection, why epistemic trust matters more than we realise, and how rebuilding trust (in ourselves and others) might be the most powerful antidote to isolation. With insights from So Lonely, Arthur C. Brooks, Esther Perel, and lived experience, this article offers practical strategies for cultivating meaningful, resilient connection.
The Hard Work of Happiness
We’re often sold the idea that happiness is a passive state—something we stumble into with enough time, money, or success. But research tells a different story. True happiness requires effort, intention, and sometimes a little discomfort. In this piece, we explore the neuroscience, psychology, and personal habits that shape lasting happiness—and why it might be the hardest (and most worthwhile) work of all.
Australia Chooses Connection: Because Culture Wars Won’t Save Us
In a world that often feels divided, Australia is quietly choosing something better: connection. From creative expression to casual conversation, our shared humanity is holding the line against cynicism, culture wars, and loneliness — one friendship at a time.
From Ketamine to Connection — My Journey from Escaping to Embracing Life
Once, I chased every possible way to escape my own life — alcohol, party drugs, even ketamine. Now, two years sober, I’ve discovered the ultimate hack isn’t found in a pill or a lab. It’s found in showing up for your life and your community, fully present.
Finding Confidence and Connection in a World That Won’t Slow Down
Confidence isn’t something you’re born with — it’s something you build. And in a world that won’t slow down, balancing connection, self-assurance, and social energy is more important than ever. How do we create meaningful relationships without burning out? It starts with rethinking confidence, reclaiming third spaces, and understanding the limits of social energy.
Building Better Friendships in 2025: Connection Takes Effort
Friendship in adulthood isn’t effortless — it takes time, intention, and a little creativity. As our lives evolve, so do our friendships, but making meaningful connections in 2025 is still possible. Here’s how to nurture relationships that truly matter.
Breaking the Comfort Zone: The Challenge (and Reward) of Trying New Things
Stepping outside your comfort zone is never easy — but it’s the only way to grow. After years away from social media, diving back in to promote Get Out has been awkward, frustrating, and sometimes overwhelming. But I know that if I want to build something real, I have to practice what I preach: choosing action over avoidance. The truth? Growth happens when we keep showing up — even when it’s uncomfortable.