The Real-Life Reset
The less time I spend online, the more my life feels like mine — better sleep, warmer friendships, finished projects. Research shows why: screens promise connection but often fuel loneliness. This piece swaps performance for presence, with five “micro-freedoms” to trade screen time for real time (device sabbath, outdoors by default, one ongoing group, embrace friction, host tiny). The algorithm can wait. Your people — including you — can’t.
Dry(ish) Is the New Deep: How Drinking Less (or Not at All) Gave Me My Life Back
I used to outsource confidence to a drink. Quitting didn’t turn me saintly — it made me steadier. With more people rethinking alcohol (and data backing the shift), this is the sober-ish playbook that rebuilt my energy, friendships, and self-respect: morning anchors, clean-fun rituals, social plans that don’t revolve around booze, and a kinder way to “start again.” No preaching — just practical steps for a life that feels like yours again.
Future-Proofing Your Heart and Mind: The Queer Case for Loving Your Body, Your Brain, and Your Relationships
The habits that keep love steady are the same ones that protect your brain and heart: move often, eat well, stay connected, argue to understand, ask for help. For queer lives with shifting safety nets, this isn’t self-improvement—it’s maintenance for the long haul.
When the Bot Becomes Your Best Friend: AI, Validation, and the Risk of Losing the Real Thing
AI can feel safer than people — instant feedback, no judgment. But when a bot becomes our go-to for comfort and advice, our real-world connection muscles atrophy. This piece unpacks the benefits, the risks, and a better way to use AI without losing the human skills that make life work.
Filling the Silence: Loneliness, Party Culture, and the Search for Something Real
Despite the queer community’s reputation for pride and celebration, many gay men are quietly battling loneliness. This piece explores how apps, parties, and even substance use can become placeholders for connection — and why building real belonging might mean looking beyond the usual spaces.
Still Showing Up: Impostor Syndrome, New Chapters, and Building Something That Matters
Building Get Out while navigating a new job, a new city, and old patterns of self-doubt has brought up one uncomfortable truth: impostor syndrome doesn’t disappear just because the mission matters. In this reflection, we explore what it means to keep showing up — even when you’re not sure you’re enough — and why that’s exactly the point.
Too Good to Scroll: On Time, Loneliness, and the Lives We Don’t Post
Feeling like time is slipping away? You’re not alone. In this reflection on loneliness, presence, and digital burnout, we explore how rediscovering purpose — not productivity — can stretch time again and help us live more deeply in the moments that matter most.
Wander Lost: When Was the Last Time You Just Went for a Walk?
When was the last time you just went for a walk — no agenda, no headphones, no steps to count? In a world that rewards hustle and highlights, walking offers something quieter: presence. This reflection explores awe, queer solitude, and the small, rebellious joy of moving through it instead of escaping it.
The Sleep That Saved My Sanity
For years, I thought I was just tired. In reality, I was unravelling. This is the story of how sleep — real, restorative, fight-for-it sleep — helped kick-start my sobriety, regulate my emotions, and bring me back to a version of myself I actually liked.
Single, Secure, and a Little Bit Scared
You’ve built a life you genuinely love — quiet, content, full of meaning. But what happens when the thought of letting someone in feels more like a threat than a thrill? In this honest reflection, we explore the quiet joys (and quiet fears) of thriving alone, and why real connection doesn’t have to cost your peace.
Younger Than You Feel, Older Than You Look: Why Time Feels So Weird Right Now
Is it just me, or does everyone feel both 25 and 75 at the same time these days? Drawing on the concept of "subjective age," this piece explores how queer time, personal trauma, and post-pandemic reality warp our internal clocks — and how we can find meaning in the mess.
The Intimacy Recession: Why Gen Z Isn’t Having Sex — And Why That’s Okay
As sex rates drop and online intimacy rises, are we witnessing a crisis — or a quiet revolution? From antidepressants to algorithms, this piece explores what it means to want less sex, how desire has evolved, and why choosing connection over performance might be the most radical act of all.
Working Out, Showing Up: Why Doing Hard Things Together Makes Life Better
In Working Out, Showing Up, we reflect on the quiet, life-saving power of doing hard things together — from sweating it out in group fitness classes to giving back through community volunteering. Drawing on the Effort Paradox and the timeless idea that doing good feels good, this piece explores how shared effort transforms loneliness into belonging, and how showing up for others helps us show up for ourselves.
When It Feels Like No One Would Miss You — Finding a Way Back to Yourself
A raw reflection on loneliness, queer community, and what it means to keep showing up — even when it feels like no one would miss you. We share how Jung’s pillars, modern research, and the story behind Get Out offer a gentle roadmap for building connection, purpose, and a life worth staying for.
The Strength of Not Taking It Personally
In this reflection, we explore what it really means to stop taking the bait in a world wired for outrage — especially for LGBTQIA+ people who’ve learned to brace for judgment. From workplace digs to family jabs, this piece blends lessons on self-control with the quiet power of choosing where your energy goes — and where it doesn’t.
The Power of the Queer Locker Room
In this piece, we reflect on how mainstream sports culture can isolate LGBTQIA+ people — and how queer-friendly teams offer more than just fitness: they offer safety, spark, and belonging. Backed by research and personal experience, this article explores how sport can become a powerful antidote to loneliness, and a practical tool for community connection.
Still Becoming: On Friendship, Identity, and Starting Again
At nearly 40, I thought I’d be settled — friendships locked in, identity formed, life humming along. But starting again doesn’t mean going backwards. In this reflection, I explore what it means to be in midlife and still becoming — still seeking friendship, still letting go, still learning how to belong. If you’ve ever felt the ache of wanting deeper connection, this one’s for you.
Back Into the Lion’s Den
After years of healing, sobriety, and rediscovering purpose, I’ve returned to the city I once left behind — but this time, I’m different. This story is about growth, boundaries, ambition, and learning to protect your peace, even when old environments come knocking. Some friendships may not survive this new chapter, and that’s okay. Because not everyone is meant to go where you’re headed.
Do You Believe in Love at First Sight?
Love at first sight sounds like something from the movies — but in a world of dating app fatigue, quick connections, and rising romantic idealism, more people are starting to believe in it again. This piece explores why belief in instant love is rising, how the concept is evolving, and what it means for queer daters navigating solitude, self-worth, and the search for something real. Drawing on personal reflections, research, and the wisdom of Esther Perel, we unpack why modern romance might require less swiping — and more curiosity.
The Courage to Change: Reinvention, Decline, and the Joy of Experimenting
What if decline wasn’t the end — but an invitation to begin again? In this thought-provoking piece, we explore how the courage to experiment, shift gears, and redefine success can lead to deeper fulfilment. Drawing on Arthur C. Brooks’ insights and his own lived experience, we challenge the idea that we must cling to peak performance, offering instead a roadmap for growth through reinvention, reflection, and human connection.