The Power of Subtraction: How Sobriety Gave Me Back My Energy, My Time, and My People
Socialising feels harder than ever, but not because we’re broken - because the world is heavy, expensive, and exhausting. This piece explores how queer sobriety, micro-connections, and the surprising wisdom of “subtracting” can create more energy, presence, and joy than we ever found in the nightlife era.
Why I Run (and Why I Keep Going)
After losing eight friends in six years, I wasn’t suicidal — but I wasn’t really living either. Running gave me a reason to move again. It became meditation, therapy, and a quiet rebellion against despair. Every kilometre said, “You’re still here.”
The Art of Staying After the High
There’s a kind of silence that follows transformation — the hush after the confetti, the stillness after the summit, the hangover after the hope. When I first got sober, no one told me the hardest part wouldn’t be quitting. It would be staying.
Learning to Belong to Myself
Coming out was freedom - but what came after? We explore belonging, authenticity, and the quiet courage of becoming yourself.
What Regret Taught Me (So You Don’t Have to Learn the Hard Way)
Coming out was never the hard part - staying true once the noise began was. I spent years chasing belonging through busyness, mistaking visibility for value. When the mask cracked, I learned something quieter but more enduring: peace isn’t found in being everywhere, it’s built by being honest somewhere. Sobriety, structure, and small rituals didn’t make life smaller - they made it real.
The Mindful Miles: How Exercise Teaches Us to Slow Down, Breathe, and Be
Exercise doesn’t just strengthen the body - it can quiet the mind. Slowing down into zone 2 running or mindful movement offers a rare stillness in motion, a state where stress eases and presence takes over. This piece explores how mindfulness and exercise intertwine, from scientific evidence on mood-boosting neurochemicals to the lived reality of finding peace through steady effort.
Forty, Without the Filter: Notes on Getting Older, Getting Real, and Getting a Life
Turning forty feels less like joining the “This Is 40” Instagram brigade and more like finally meeting myself. I don’t have the dream house, a partner on my arm, or thirst traps to prove I still “look good for my age.” What I do have is sobriety, friendships that last longer than a weekend, and a body and mind I can actually trust. This isn’t about being “blessed.” It’s about being real, reflective, and quietly proud of progress over perfection.
Am I OK? A True Answer for R U OK? Day
For years my answer to “R U OK?” was no. I numbed, I spiralled, and I couldn’t picture life getting better. One honest sentence — “I’m not OK” — led to 30 days in hospital and a slow rebuild built on therapy, movement, and showing up. Today my answer is yes. If yours isn’t, borrow my belief and start with one conversation. I’ll listen.
How to Rebuild Friendship: Small Habits That Stick
I tried to optimise my way out of loneliness; it didn’t work. What has: being kinder to my brain and treating friendship like a practice. This field note blends neuroscience (micro-delights, cognitive appraisal), queer midlife reality, and six repeatable habits that make showing up easier — and connection stick.
Dry(ish) Is the New Deep: How Drinking Less (or Not at All) Gave Me My Life Back
I used to outsource confidence to a drink. Quitting didn’t turn me saintly — it made me steadier. With more people rethinking alcohol (and data backing the shift), this is the sober-ish playbook that rebuilt my energy, friendships, and self-respect: morning anchors, clean-fun rituals, social plans that don’t revolve around booze, and a kinder way to “start again.” No preaching — just practical steps for a life that feels like yours again.
Back Into the Lion’s Den
After years of healing, sobriety, and rediscovering purpose, I’ve returned to the city I once left behind — but this time, I’m different. This story is about growth, boundaries, ambition, and learning to protect your peace, even when old environments come knocking. Some friendships may not survive this new chapter, and that’s okay. Because not everyone is meant to go where you’re headed.
Where Are My People?
At nearly 40, I’m realising I’ve never really had that lifelong friendship many people seem to take for granted. I’ve always had people around — but not always beside me. Sobriety, shifting values, and the scenic route through life have left me craving something deeper. This is a story about friendship, gay men, and the quiet ache of wondering: Where are my people?
Getting Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Getting comfortable being uncomfortable isn’t about chasing discomfort for the sake of it—it’s about learning to value clarity over approval, purpose over performance, and choosing a quieter kind of growth. In this honest reflection, Brodie shares what sobriety, solitude, and slower success have taught him about building Get Out—and why the hard path might just be the right one.
Are you Sober Curious? How Sobriety Became My Anchor
Two years sober, I’ve learned that alcohol once masked my pain but never solved it. Sobriety hasn’t just transformed my physical and mental health — it’s reignited my relationships, career, and passion for life. Are you sober curious?
Finding Light in the Dark: Lessons from Rebuilding My Life to Kickstart Your New Year
A few years ago, I hit a breaking point — stuck in a cycle of hopelessness and self-pity, I felt like my best days were behind me. Admitting myself to St. Helen’s Hospital for therapy was the turning point that helped me rebuild my life. Now, I’m sharing the lessons I learned to help you kickstart 2025 with purpose and resilience.