Convenience Is Stealing Our Community (And We’re Letting It)
Delivery apps, AI, and “frictionless” everything promised to give us time back - but what we traded away were the very skills and social rituals that make life feel full. This piece looks at how we’ve started choosing convenience over connection, why de-skilling is a queer issue as much as a cultural one, and what it would look like to rebuild a life that requires us again.
What a Year of Pitching and Starting Get Out Actually Taught Me
Twelve months of putting Get Out in front of rooms, investors, founders, and friends looked impressive from the outside - Enterprize pitch, community calendar, volunteer tool - but under the surface it was messier, slower, and more human than launch-day narratives ever admit. This is the story of how the idea evolved, where it stalled, what I learned about my own capacity (and limits), and why I’m bringing someone in to help grow what I still believe in.
Why I Run (and Why I Keep Going)
After losing eight friends in six years, I wasn’t suicidal — but I wasn’t really living either. Running gave me a reason to move again. It became meditation, therapy, and a quiet rebellion against despair. Every kilometre said, “You’re still here.”
The Art of Staying After the High
There’s a kind of silence that follows transformation — the hush after the confetti, the stillness after the summit, the hangover after the hope. When I first got sober, no one told me the hardest part wouldn’t be quitting. It would be staying.
Learning to Belong to Myself
Coming out was freedom - but what came after? We explore belonging, authenticity, and the quiet courage of becoming yourself.
What Regret Taught Me (So You Don’t Have to Learn the Hard Way)
Coming out was never the hard part - staying true once the noise began was. I spent years chasing belonging through busyness, mistaking visibility for value. When the mask cracked, I learned something quieter but more enduring: peace isn’t found in being everywhere, it’s built by being honest somewhere. Sobriety, structure, and small rituals didn’t make life smaller - they made it real.
The Companionship Effect: Why Doing Life With People Beats Hustle, Hacks, and Heroics
Most self-help advice is a solo sport: get up earlier, grind harder, optimise smarter. But a huge time-use study shows something simpler—and kinder: almost everything feels better when you don’t do it alone. From co-working to co-errands to low-key “parallel play,” shared rhythms lift mood, make habits stick, and protect mental health (especially for queer folks navigating loneliness or chemsex pressures). This piece swaps lone-wolf optimization for social fitness—tiny, repeatable touch points that make ordinary weeks easier, lighter, and more human.
The Myth of Earning Love Through Work
Many of us grow up believing love must be earned through achievement, effort, and endless work. But this belief often leaves us exhausted, lonely, and disconnected from what matters most. Drawing on psychology, personal finance wisdom, and end-of-life reflections, this piece explores the myth of “earning” love, why so many of us fall into the trap, and how to choose differently — reclaiming joy, connection, and presence in the process.
Love, Out Loud (Even When We Disagree)
What if happiness isn’t found in the dream house, the perfect partner, or the algorithm that promises you connection, but in something far less glamorous? A coffee shared with strangers. A difficult truth spoken with kindness. A ritual repeated often enough that it becomes belonging. We think joy is a climax — a wedding, a promotion, a viral moment. But the science (and the stories of ordinary people) keep showing us that happiness is much quieter, more human, and infinitely closer than we realise.
The Partner Plot Twist: What If Dating Isn’t the Main Story?
If every conversation ends with “So, seeing anyone?”—you’re not imagining it. We’re culturally obsessed with coupling, even as apps turbo-charge snap judgments and fuel loneliness. This piece makes the case for stepping off the treadmill: prioritising friendship, purpose, and community over performance dating. With fresh research on swipes, AI “companions,” and why stated preferences rarely match real choices, here’s how to choose connection that lasts—whether or not it leads to a relationship.
Where to from here?
When I started Get Out in Hobart, I was lonely, part-time, and determined to build a simple bridge between people and their local communities. We’ve built it — and it works. What comes next depends on you. Should we add people, add time, or add investment? Tell us how you connect, what you care about, and where we should focus so Get Out serves real needs, not assumptions. Help shape the next chapter.
How to Rebuild Friendship: Small Habits That Stick
I tried to optimise my way out of loneliness; it didn’t work. What has: being kinder to my brain and treating friendship like a practice. This field note blends neuroscience (micro-delights, cognitive appraisal), queer midlife reality, and six repeatable habits that make showing up easier — and connection stick.
The Real-Life Reset
The less time I spend online, the more my life feels like mine — better sleep, warmer friendships, finished projects. Research shows why: screens promise connection but often fuel loneliness. This piece swaps performance for presence, with five “micro-freedoms” to trade screen time for real time (device sabbath, outdoors by default, one ongoing group, embrace friction, host tiny). The algorithm can wait. Your people — including you — can’t.
Dry(ish) Is the New Deep: How Drinking Less (or Not at All) Gave Me My Life Back
I used to outsource confidence to a drink. Quitting didn’t turn me saintly — it made me steadier. With more people rethinking alcohol (and data backing the shift), this is the sober-ish playbook that rebuilt my energy, friendships, and self-respect: morning anchors, clean-fun rituals, social plans that don’t revolve around booze, and a kinder way to “start again.” No preaching — just practical steps for a life that feels like yours again.
When the Bot Becomes Your Best Friend: AI, Validation, and the Risk of Losing the Real Thing
AI can feel safer than people — instant feedback, no judgment. But when a bot becomes our go-to for comfort and advice, our real-world connection muscles atrophy. This piece unpacks the benefits, the risks, and a better way to use AI without losing the human skills that make life work.
Filling the Silence: Loneliness, Party Culture, and the Search for Something Real
Despite the queer community’s reputation for pride and celebration, many gay men are quietly battling loneliness. This piece explores how apps, parties, and even substance use can become placeholders for connection — and why building real belonging might mean looking beyond the usual spaces.
Still Showing Up: Impostor Syndrome, New Chapters, and Building Something That Matters
Building Get Out while navigating a new job, a new city, and old patterns of self-doubt has brought up one uncomfortable truth: impostor syndrome doesn’t disappear just because the mission matters. In this reflection, we explore what it means to keep showing up — even when you’re not sure you’re enough — and why that’s exactly the point.
Too Good to Scroll: On Time, Loneliness, and the Lives We Don’t Post
Feeling like time is slipping away? You’re not alone. In this reflection on loneliness, presence, and digital burnout, we explore how rediscovering purpose — not productivity — can stretch time again and help us live more deeply in the moments that matter most.
When It Feels Like No One Would Miss You — Finding a Way Back to Yourself
A raw reflection on loneliness, queer community, and what it means to keep showing up — even when it feels like no one would miss you. We share how Jung’s pillars, modern research, and the story behind Get Out offer a gentle roadmap for building connection, purpose, and a life worth staying for.
The Power of the Queer Locker Room
In this piece, we reflect on how mainstream sports culture can isolate LGBTQIA+ people — and how queer-friendly teams offer more than just fitness: they offer safety, spark, and belonging. Backed by research and personal experience, this article explores how sport can become a powerful antidote to loneliness, and a practical tool for community connection.