New Year’s Resolutions That Actually Make You Happier
This year, skip the resolutions that make you feel guilty by February. Try the ones that make you feel more connected by next week.
Every January, we do the same little ritual: we promise ourselves we’ll be “better”. Healthier. More disciplined. More productive. More… something.
And then, quietly, most of us don’t stick to it.
Not because we’re weak. But because a lot of common resolutions are aiming at the wrong target.
Most New Year’s resolutions are built around status (money, body, performance) - while what we’re actually craving is wellbeing (meaning, calm, belonging, love, energy). Those aren’t the same thing. And if your resolution doesn’t deliver a felt benefit quickly, it rarely survives contact with real life.
So, here’s a different approach for 2026: choose resolutions that bring the reward forward - not ones that ask for months of suffering before you’re allowed to feel proud of yourself.
Resolution 1: Go deeper, not wider
One of the most consistent findings in modern wellbeing research is blunt, bordering on annoying: good relationships are a cornerstone of a good life.
But “relationships” doesn’t mean collecting acquaintances, staying busy, or being vaguely social online. It means being known. It means mutuality. It means the kind of friendship where you can be honest without performing.
A powerful shift many people make as they get older is that they narrow their social circles - not out of bitterness, but out of wisdom. They stop spending precious time on relationships that are thin, transactional, or draining, and they invest in the ones that actually feed them.
Try this (10 minutes, today):
Pick two people you genuinely want more of in your life this year.
Message them with something simple and specific: “I miss you. Can we lock in a walk/coffee this month?”
Put it in the calendar immediately - because “we should” is where friendships go to die.
(And yes - this is especially relevant for queer people, because many of us have had to build “chosen family” from scratch. That’s beautiful… and it also takes intention. Community doesn’t maintain itself.)
Resolution 2: Build “social fitness” the same way you build physical fitness
Harvard researchers describe relationships as a kind of fitness: you don’t get the benefits unless you maintain the practice.
You don’t need a dramatic life overhaul. You need small, repeatable actions that keep connection alive.
If you like habit frameworks, BJ Fogg’s work is useful here: make the change small enough that you’ll actually do it, anchor it to an existing routine, and celebrate the win so your brain wants to repeat it.
Try this (tiny habit style):
After you brush your teeth at night, send one message: a check-in, a meme, a “thinking of you”, a voice note.
Keep it so small you can’t negotiate with it.
This isn’t about being relentlessly upbeat. It’s about keeping the thread unbroken - because connection isn’t created in one big moment. It’s built in a hundred micro-moments.
Resolution 3: Choose one “direct happiness” practice
Two of the strongest “direct happiness” candidates (backed by intervention research) are:
Gratitude practices (simple, repeatable reflection on what’s good)
Forgiveness practices (not excusing harm - but releasing yourself from carrying it)
Not because life is perfect, or because you should “just be positive”, but because your attention is a resource - and where you place it shapes your mood, your stress response, and your relationships over time.
Try this (low cringe, high impact):
Once a week, write three things that didn’t suck. Not “I’m grateful for oxygen” - real things: a kind colleague, a good session at the gym, a message that made you feel less alone.
Or pick one resentment you’re ready to put down (even partially). Not for them - for you.
The “anti-resolution” that makes all of this easier: Care less about the wrong things
There’s a reason older adults often report less day-to-day distress: they get better at not feeding every stressor with their full nervous system.
A quietly life-changing question is: “Will this matter to me in a week?” If not, you can start practising the art of letting it shrink.
That doesn’t mean disengaging from your values. It means refusing to donate your energy to noise, performative drama, and the kind of comparison that makes you feel behind before you’ve even started.
So, what does this mean for Get Out in 2026?
It means we’re leaning harder into what actually moves the needle: community, events, and partnerships - less endless content, more real-world connection.
And we’re going to ask for your help shaping it.
A short survey is coming soon - and it’s not fluff. It’ll directly influence what we build next: what kinds of events you want, what times suit you, what formats feel welcoming, and what “community” should look like when you’re not in the mood to be brave.
For now, consider this your permission slip: Make 2026 the year you choose the resolutions that make you feel better next week - not just the ones that look impressive on Instagram.
Stay tuned.